Dear Readers,
I had a conversation with my aunt Ruth the other day that has stuck in my mind. I had called her to alert her of my sister Kate being in labor, and one way or another the conversation turned into an analysis of how life for my sisters, cousins, and myself is so different then it was for her, my mom, and aunts and uncles.
She said that it seems like we struggle more in finding our lives now, and I couldn't help but agree. Here I am, 30 years old, changing jobs again, moving to another apartment (not buying a house), and still trying to figure out what it is that I will do when I grow up. I have the basics in tact, I know that I want to be a baker, I know I want Shay to be able to make a living as a full time artist, and I know that I want Lucas to get a full ride scholarship to M.I.T. (because there is no way I'll be able to foot the bill for that one...). And that's it, that's where it ends.
My aunt Ruth, however, married an engineer who landed a great and stable job in Boise, bought a house in a subdivision, and was a wonderful full time stay at home mom. My mom and dad struggled a bit at first, but by the time they were around my age my dad was teaching, they owned their home in Rupert, had three kids, and my mom worked at First Security Bank either part or full time the entire time. Once they were in their purchased homes, they didn't leave (well, my aunt moved a few years back, but for all intensive purposes they were grounded until their children were adults).
I'm not positive, but I think the reason why couples and parents my age struggle more than our aunts and parents did is more of a problem with society than it is a problem within ourselves. College costs a fortune, and it's impossible to pay for without loans. Having kids costs a fortune; not only did it take me three years to pay off the hospital for Lucas' birth, but just paying for his school registration, soccer, and swimming lessons costs almost the amount of a semester of college. Getting a steady job, for instance Shay's teaching job, is extremely hard to do, and when you do land it you still don't make enough to keep your wife at home because the cost of living versus your pay is completely out of whack. Even if his pay was more or cost of living was less, I would still have to work full time to qualify for reasonably priced health insurance, because the cost of it through the school system is ENORMOUS. I'm part of a generation that learned how to spend a lot of money in very little time; I don't know one person my age without credit card debt.
With all of that being said, allow me to make something clear: I AM HAPPY. So things didn't go the way that I planned, or that my parents planned. I'm poor, and will probably continue to be poor for a long time. The good news is that I don't know any different at this point, except the glimpse I get to have of people far more prosperous than me (but they're a hell of a lot grouchier than I am). I have fun. I enjoy my friends and family. My life is, as my mom would say, is "rich in blessings". Couple that with my meager retirement savings, and my lofty dreams for the future, and my life looks pretty good.
I move on Saturday, and start my new job on Monday, I have nothing but optimism in my heart that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be in my life. That's not to say I wouldn't like a little more stability like my aunt and mother had, because I would. For now though, I'll play the hand I've been given.
Sincerely,
h.
3.24.2010
3.11.2010
The End is the Beginning is the End
Dear Readers,
Big news in Heather Land. Yesterday I put in my notice to leave as a property manager, and have accepted a position at Anthropologie. The good news, I won't have to clean the parking garage anymore. The bad news, I won't have stories about cleaning the parking garage anymore.
Along with this job change comes a change in residence as well. I love living in the Idaho Building. I love looking out my window just in time to see a rich kid fall off of his fixed gear bike. I love walking out my front door to the sights, sounds, and smells of the Saturday Farmer's Market. I love that my little boy can sleep through sirens, drunk people screaming, and loud music. I love that if I need chips and salsa I just slip on my shoes and walk a half of block to Pollo Rey. However, the rent is too high, and the confusion for my resident's would be too great to stay.
We're hoping to relocate to the North End. While we were driving around looking at places yesterday, Shay and I noticed quite a few people jogging. "Look!" said Shay, "We'll be able to run now!" Because, as everyone knows, just moving to the North End puts you into unbelievable shape.
Along with my new post at Anthropologie (did I mention how excited I am to work there? Because I am very excited), I will be focusing my energies to getting my baked goods business off the ground. My goal is to have a full menu done by the end of April, new business cards, and a viable way of marketing my business. I guess I could just start now: who wants to buy something tasty today?
I can feel the pages in my story starting to turn, and I'm thrilled to see what happens next.
Sincerely,
h.
Big news in Heather Land. Yesterday I put in my notice to leave as a property manager, and have accepted a position at Anthropologie. The good news, I won't have to clean the parking garage anymore. The bad news, I won't have stories about cleaning the parking garage anymore.
Along with this job change comes a change in residence as well. I love living in the Idaho Building. I love looking out my window just in time to see a rich kid fall off of his fixed gear bike. I love walking out my front door to the sights, sounds, and smells of the Saturday Farmer's Market. I love that my little boy can sleep through sirens, drunk people screaming, and loud music. I love that if I need chips and salsa I just slip on my shoes and walk a half of block to Pollo Rey. However, the rent is too high, and the confusion for my resident's would be too great to stay.
We're hoping to relocate to the North End. While we were driving around looking at places yesterday, Shay and I noticed quite a few people jogging. "Look!" said Shay, "We'll be able to run now!" Because, as everyone knows, just moving to the North End puts you into unbelievable shape.
Along with my new post at Anthropologie (did I mention how excited I am to work there? Because I am very excited), I will be focusing my energies to getting my baked goods business off the ground. My goal is to have a full menu done by the end of April, new business cards, and a viable way of marketing my business. I guess I could just start now: who wants to buy something tasty today?
I can feel the pages in my story starting to turn, and I'm thrilled to see what happens next.
Sincerely,
h.
3.09.2010
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Dear Readers,
March has been a strange month, hasn't it? We're only nine days in, and I've had enough highs and lows to last me a year. For one, I didn't win an Oscar again this year. Correction: I wasn't even nominated for an Oscar again this year. When will the Academy recognize my accomplishments in film? Probably around the same time the Grammy's will recognize for my contributions to the music world.
Seriously though, I have taken a look at what I give to the world, and the answer is not a whole hell of a lot. I do my best for my friends and my family, but it's been a while since I've made an effort towards the greater good. Sadly, when I consider this, I get really tired and then decide my time might be better spent in my bathtub reading a good book. Then I have to ask myself why I'm so tired? That answer's easy: I work a lot, I take care of my family, I try to fit in a baking business, and I have a few health setbacks.
I think (unless I fall into a lot of money that would allow us to be financially independent and follow our dreams) that what I need to do is seriously reevaluate my career. There was a time that I was more focused on my career than anything else (of course, Shay and Lucas put me on a different path), and I was going to change the world. There is absolutely no reason why I can't do that. I'm not Oprah Winfrey, but I don't have to give up either. Does that mean I'll have to leave the property management world behind me? Yes, probably. I'm not sure what the answer is yet though, so I'll pick up my broom and clean one parking garage at a time until a bigger and better way to change the world comes along.
Sincerely,
h.
March has been a strange month, hasn't it? We're only nine days in, and I've had enough highs and lows to last me a year. For one, I didn't win an Oscar again this year. Correction: I wasn't even nominated for an Oscar again this year. When will the Academy recognize my accomplishments in film? Probably around the same time the Grammy's will recognize for my contributions to the music world.
Seriously though, I have taken a look at what I give to the world, and the answer is not a whole hell of a lot. I do my best for my friends and my family, but it's been a while since I've made an effort towards the greater good. Sadly, when I consider this, I get really tired and then decide my time might be better spent in my bathtub reading a good book. Then I have to ask myself why I'm so tired? That answer's easy: I work a lot, I take care of my family, I try to fit in a baking business, and I have a few health setbacks.
I think (unless I fall into a lot of money that would allow us to be financially independent and follow our dreams) that what I need to do is seriously reevaluate my career. There was a time that I was more focused on my career than anything else (of course, Shay and Lucas put me on a different path), and I was going to change the world. There is absolutely no reason why I can't do that. I'm not Oprah Winfrey, but I don't have to give up either. Does that mean I'll have to leave the property management world behind me? Yes, probably. I'm not sure what the answer is yet though, so I'll pick up my broom and clean one parking garage at a time until a bigger and better way to change the world comes along.
Sincerely,
h.
3.01.2010
There's No Place Like Home
Dear Readers,
Last week, after getting very little sleep and coupling that with too much stress when 5:00pm on Friday rolled around I said, "That's it! I'm leaving this place!" And leave I did. I packed up Lucas and myself in the car, kissed Shay goodbye (he had prior obligations) and drove off into the night towards that beautiful place they call Rupert.
There was a time in my life where the last place I wanted to be was in my parent's house (and I can say confidently that they preferred not to have me there either, I'm afraid). Now when I pull up in front of their house and I see my mom's face look out the window it's a thrilling experience. This past Friday was no exception to that joy! I think my parents might worry that they need to entertain us in some way, but honestly laying on their couch, eating my mom's great food, and watching cable is more than enough for me.
On Saturday Lucas and I had the opportunity to join my parents in their monthly "supply trip" to Twin Falls. It's the day they go to all of the important places, Winco, Target, Costco, and to get my mom's haircut. Not to throw out generalizations of the fine people of Twin, but I noticed a few things that concern me for citizens of the Magic Valley: 1) A lot, I mean A LOT, of women are balding, and 2)Another Winco is badly needed, because the one they got just isn't big enough to house all of their happy shoppers...no wonder someone got shot there a couple of years ago. Trying to squeeze past the other patrons was a feat worth a certificate if not a gold medal.
After my mom came out of her salon with a new sporty look, we ventured over to Cafe Rio for a special dinner. Cafe Rio is now my mom's favorite place in the whole world to eat. I don't blame her; for a reasonable price, you get an ample amount of delicious unauthentic Mexican food, served by people who love to yell in excitement when someone earns a free meal with their punch card. I highly recommend the pork tacos, and Lucas gives the bean burrito two thumbs up. Lucas couldn't help but notice there was a Dairy Queen conveniently located across the parking lot, and was able to persuade Grandma that an ice cream sandwich would be the perfect dessert. "Grandma, they take two cookies, and smoosh ice cream in between them!"
Lucas and I also had a chance to catch up with my old friend Monica, her husband Rob, and their beautiful little girls Ellie and Piper. I'm quite taken with little 3 year old Ellie, not only is she adorable but she's smart as a whip and nice as can be. I was thrilled that she and Lucas hit it off so well...we could hear them giggling from upstairs and I heard Lucas say, "Don't laugh so hard that you pee yourself!" to which they giggled even more. Baby Piper is the dang cutest baby I've ever seen, with a shock of red hair and rolls of baby fat that I could squeeze all day. It was nice to be in the Maxwell's basement again! I'm pretty sure I spent more time there in high school then I did my own house...I should pay back rent.
I'm glad we were able to get away for a couple days, and just as glad to come home to Shay. Thanks Mom and Dad for letting us come home once in a while!
Sincerely,
h.
Last week, after getting very little sleep and coupling that with too much stress when 5:00pm on Friday rolled around I said, "That's it! I'm leaving this place!" And leave I did. I packed up Lucas and myself in the car, kissed Shay goodbye (he had prior obligations) and drove off into the night towards that beautiful place they call Rupert.
There was a time in my life where the last place I wanted to be was in my parent's house (and I can say confidently that they preferred not to have me there either, I'm afraid). Now when I pull up in front of their house and I see my mom's face look out the window it's a thrilling experience. This past Friday was no exception to that joy! I think my parents might worry that they need to entertain us in some way, but honestly laying on their couch, eating my mom's great food, and watching cable is more than enough for me.
On Saturday Lucas and I had the opportunity to join my parents in their monthly "supply trip" to Twin Falls. It's the day they go to all of the important places, Winco, Target, Costco, and to get my mom's haircut. Not to throw out generalizations of the fine people of Twin, but I noticed a few things that concern me for citizens of the Magic Valley: 1) A lot, I mean A LOT, of women are balding, and 2)Another Winco is badly needed, because the one they got just isn't big enough to house all of their happy shoppers...no wonder someone got shot there a couple of years ago. Trying to squeeze past the other patrons was a feat worth a certificate if not a gold medal.
After my mom came out of her salon with a new sporty look, we ventured over to Cafe Rio for a special dinner. Cafe Rio is now my mom's favorite place in the whole world to eat. I don't blame her; for a reasonable price, you get an ample amount of delicious unauthentic Mexican food, served by people who love to yell in excitement when someone earns a free meal with their punch card. I highly recommend the pork tacos, and Lucas gives the bean burrito two thumbs up. Lucas couldn't help but notice there was a Dairy Queen conveniently located across the parking lot, and was able to persuade Grandma that an ice cream sandwich would be the perfect dessert. "Grandma, they take two cookies, and smoosh ice cream in between them!"
Lucas and I also had a chance to catch up with my old friend Monica, her husband Rob, and their beautiful little girls Ellie and Piper. I'm quite taken with little 3 year old Ellie, not only is she adorable but she's smart as a whip and nice as can be. I was thrilled that she and Lucas hit it off so well...we could hear them giggling from upstairs and I heard Lucas say, "Don't laugh so hard that you pee yourself!" to which they giggled even more. Baby Piper is the dang cutest baby I've ever seen, with a shock of red hair and rolls of baby fat that I could squeeze all day. It was nice to be in the Maxwell's basement again! I'm pretty sure I spent more time there in high school then I did my own house...I should pay back rent.
I'm glad we were able to get away for a couple days, and just as glad to come home to Shay. Thanks Mom and Dad for letting us come home once in a while!
Sincerely,
h.
2.25.2010
Confessions
Dear Readers,
I want to get a few things off my chest. I'm sick of carrying the extra weight of secrets about myself that I hide to avoid being made fun of. Go ahead! Make fun of me! I don't care! Here it goes...
1. Even though I give my husband a hard time about it, I sometimes eat Kraft Cheese and Macaroni straight from the pan.
2. I like the band The Eagles, especially the songs "Hotel California" and "Desperado". I know The Dude hates The Eagles, but I like them anyway.
3. I've read the Twilight series 5 times. I enjoyed them every time.
4. Sometimes, I swear (sorry Mom!).
5. I really, really hate going to touristy places like Fisherman's Wharf in San Fransisco or The Space Needle in Seattle. I really, really like going to the seedy underbelly of big cities and seeing real live hookers and drug dealers. I don't know why.
6. For a long time I've felt like I owe apologies to a lot of people for not going to church anymore. However, rather than apologize, I'd like to say thank you to the people in my life who have taught me the important lessons in life, whether through church or friendship. Because of you, I know love, compassion, humility, friendship, family, and have given me the tools I need to make good choices and take responsibility for myself. Please know that the LDS church will always have a special place in my heart, even if I never go again.
7. I make fun of people. Mostly random people I don't know on the street. I don't mean any harm, but sometimes you just have to laugh.
8. I'm always on time for work. I'm rarely on time for anything else.
9. Really wealthy people scare me more than they impress me.
10. I'm making plans to visit the new Harry Potter theme park at Universal Studios Florida. Ironically, it will be super touristy...but I'm hoping it will be super cool as well.
Wow, I feel so much better! Like I've lost 10 lbs! Thanks for letting me get these things off of my chest.
Sincerely,
h.
I want to get a few things off my chest. I'm sick of carrying the extra weight of secrets about myself that I hide to avoid being made fun of. Go ahead! Make fun of me! I don't care! Here it goes...
1. Even though I give my husband a hard time about it, I sometimes eat Kraft Cheese and Macaroni straight from the pan.
2. I like the band The Eagles, especially the songs "Hotel California" and "Desperado". I know The Dude hates The Eagles, but I like them anyway.
3. I've read the Twilight series 5 times. I enjoyed them every time.
4. Sometimes, I swear (sorry Mom!).
5. I really, really hate going to touristy places like Fisherman's Wharf in San Fransisco or The Space Needle in Seattle. I really, really like going to the seedy underbelly of big cities and seeing real live hookers and drug dealers. I don't know why.
6. For a long time I've felt like I owe apologies to a lot of people for not going to church anymore. However, rather than apologize, I'd like to say thank you to the people in my life who have taught me the important lessons in life, whether through church or friendship. Because of you, I know love, compassion, humility, friendship, family, and have given me the tools I need to make good choices and take responsibility for myself. Please know that the LDS church will always have a special place in my heart, even if I never go again.
7. I make fun of people. Mostly random people I don't know on the street. I don't mean any harm, but sometimes you just have to laugh.
8. I'm always on time for work. I'm rarely on time for anything else.
9. Really wealthy people scare me more than they impress me.
10. I'm making plans to visit the new Harry Potter theme park at Universal Studios Florida. Ironically, it will be super touristy...but I'm hoping it will be super cool as well.
Wow, I feel so much better! Like I've lost 10 lbs! Thanks for letting me get these things off of my chest.
Sincerely,
h.
2.23.2010
Humble Beginnings
Dear Readers,
Yesterday I was listening to NPR (a shock, I know) and was lucky enough to hear an interview with His Holiness the Dalai Lama. A few years ago I had the wonderful experience of getting to see him speak in person in Sun Valley. Funny enough, just hearing him on the radio evoked the same reaction that I had when I heard him speak before. I can feel myself become enthralled in what he has to say; his messages of compassion, humility, and servitude toward your fellow men is so logical and precise that it almost doesn't make sense to have it come from a religious leader.
One of the things he spoke about on the radio was how as a child, after he had been found to be the Dalai Lama and was removed from his poor village to live in the monastery, he didn't have other children to play with. But he found playmates in the monks who swept the floors and were the care takers of the buildings. They taught him games, and although he was one of the foremost religious figures in the world, the care takers would not let him win the games they played unless it happened of his accord. They didn't have to do it. How many times do we as parents let our children win to spare them disappointment? His Holiness spoke of his gratefulness for losing those games though, as they planted the seeds of understanding humility in him.
I've put a lot of though into this concept over the last 24 hours. What is it to be humble? Is it the act of being shamed, or taught a lesson? Or is it the quiet reflection we experience after the shame or lesson, that helps us to understand what we did wrong and how we could do it better next time?
I hope I'm not what you would call a pretentious person. I have my areas of snobbery for sure, like literature, baking, and fine grades of heroin. But in my everyday life I would like to think that I'm a pretty easy going and understanding person. But after taking the last day and really reflecting my life, I know that there are improvements to be made, attitudes to change, and habits to kick. I'm a very fortunate person; I have a husband I adore, the best son in the world, and friends that fill my heart with joy every time I see them. I've had several wonderful opportunities present themselves as of late, and it humbles me just to know that I would be considered as a possible candidate for said opportunities. It's a wonderful feeling to step back from my life and be able to recognize that it's full of love, happiness, and potential. I've realized that having humility doesn't mean you have to be embarrassed or shamed or feel loss to recognize what's good in your life; rather it means to find the good in life, acknowledge and be grateful for it, and in turn try to spread the joy you have through service and compassion to those who are lacking.
Also, if you ever get the chance to listen to the Dalai Lama, I highly suggest you do so. For such a small man, he has a huge message to spread...and the greatest laugh in the world to boot.
Sincerely,
h.
Yesterday I was listening to NPR (a shock, I know) and was lucky enough to hear an interview with His Holiness the Dalai Lama. A few years ago I had the wonderful experience of getting to see him speak in person in Sun Valley. Funny enough, just hearing him on the radio evoked the same reaction that I had when I heard him speak before. I can feel myself become enthralled in what he has to say; his messages of compassion, humility, and servitude toward your fellow men is so logical and precise that it almost doesn't make sense to have it come from a religious leader.
One of the things he spoke about on the radio was how as a child, after he had been found to be the Dalai Lama and was removed from his poor village to live in the monastery, he didn't have other children to play with. But he found playmates in the monks who swept the floors and were the care takers of the buildings. They taught him games, and although he was one of the foremost religious figures in the world, the care takers would not let him win the games they played unless it happened of his accord. They didn't have to do it. How many times do we as parents let our children win to spare them disappointment? His Holiness spoke of his gratefulness for losing those games though, as they planted the seeds of understanding humility in him.
I've put a lot of though into this concept over the last 24 hours. What is it to be humble? Is it the act of being shamed, or taught a lesson? Or is it the quiet reflection we experience after the shame or lesson, that helps us to understand what we did wrong and how we could do it better next time?
I hope I'm not what you would call a pretentious person. I have my areas of snobbery for sure, like literature, baking, and fine grades of heroin. But in my everyday life I would like to think that I'm a pretty easy going and understanding person. But after taking the last day and really reflecting my life, I know that there are improvements to be made, attitudes to change, and habits to kick. I'm a very fortunate person; I have a husband I adore, the best son in the world, and friends that fill my heart with joy every time I see them. I've had several wonderful opportunities present themselves as of late, and it humbles me just to know that I would be considered as a possible candidate for said opportunities. It's a wonderful feeling to step back from my life and be able to recognize that it's full of love, happiness, and potential. I've realized that having humility doesn't mean you have to be embarrassed or shamed or feel loss to recognize what's good in your life; rather it means to find the good in life, acknowledge and be grateful for it, and in turn try to spread the joy you have through service and compassion to those who are lacking.
Also, if you ever get the chance to listen to the Dalai Lama, I highly suggest you do so. For such a small man, he has a huge message to spread...and the greatest laugh in the world to boot.
Sincerely,
h.
2.17.2010
Being an Adult
Dear Readers,
I just read a post on my friend Loren's Facebook page that got me to thinkin'. What makes a person a man or a woman? When do we stop being "boys and girls" and work our way up to the top of the ladder? Is it age? Experience? Knowledge?
Coincidentally, these questions come to mind on the same day that Shay and I talked to a bank about buying a home. We don't have a particular home in mind, but we've considered looking because the market is so good and thought we would see what we would qualify for. Here's what I learned: buying a home is a nauseatingly grown up thing to do. I'm sure if the bank just interviewed us as normal human beings, we would be approved for just about any house we wanted on charm and savvy alone. Mucking up said interview with credit scores, income, taxes, etc. etc. makes it a bit more difficult though.
So do you determine whether you're a man or a woman by credit score? I imagine real adults have credit scores surpassing 900.
Remember when graduating from college seemed like such a big deal? What about getting your driver's license? I suppose you could use milestones like these to determine when you step into adulthood as well. Perhaps it's when you realize that you can't do whatever you want, or be whoever you want to be, and realize that they were kind of lying to you as a kid when they said your potential is endless. Because honestly, it has to stop at some point! Don't get me wrong, I think my potential by far surpasses being a resident manager, that's not to say that I can call up NASA and tell them I'm joining the space program tomorrow, does it?
For me, the answer to the question at hand really depends on the day. There are some days I'm a woman, where I am an outstanding adult making healthy grownup decisions and eating broccoli on purpose. But there are other days that I am around 16 years old, where I want to hole up in my best friend's basement (that would be you, Monica), dip a giant spoon first in peanut butter and next in M&M's and watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 all day.
After speaking to the banker today, tomorrow will be best spent in Monica's basement.
Sincerely,
h.
I just read a post on my friend Loren's Facebook page that got me to thinkin'. What makes a person a man or a woman? When do we stop being "boys and girls" and work our way up to the top of the ladder? Is it age? Experience? Knowledge?
Coincidentally, these questions come to mind on the same day that Shay and I talked to a bank about buying a home. We don't have a particular home in mind, but we've considered looking because the market is so good and thought we would see what we would qualify for. Here's what I learned: buying a home is a nauseatingly grown up thing to do. I'm sure if the bank just interviewed us as normal human beings, we would be approved for just about any house we wanted on charm and savvy alone. Mucking up said interview with credit scores, income, taxes, etc. etc. makes it a bit more difficult though.
So do you determine whether you're a man or a woman by credit score? I imagine real adults have credit scores surpassing 900.
Remember when graduating from college seemed like such a big deal? What about getting your driver's license? I suppose you could use milestones like these to determine when you step into adulthood as well. Perhaps it's when you realize that you can't do whatever you want, or be whoever you want to be, and realize that they were kind of lying to you as a kid when they said your potential is endless. Because honestly, it has to stop at some point! Don't get me wrong, I think my potential by far surpasses being a resident manager, that's not to say that I can call up NASA and tell them I'm joining the space program tomorrow, does it?
For me, the answer to the question at hand really depends on the day. There are some days I'm a woman, where I am an outstanding adult making healthy grownup decisions and eating broccoli on purpose. But there are other days that I am around 16 years old, where I want to hole up in my best friend's basement (that would be you, Monica), dip a giant spoon first in peanut butter and next in M&M's and watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 all day.
After speaking to the banker today, tomorrow will be best spent in Monica's basement.
Sincerely,
h.
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