Dear Readers,
On my way home from work today, I watched as the sunny sky complimented by fluffy white clouds was swiftly overcome with a wave of darkness. For a moment, there was a distinct line between the light and darkness; it looked like a photo from one of those pamphlets overzealous christians hand you on the streets to inform you in a few illustrations and words that you'll most likely be going to Hell. Already in a reflective mood, when I witnessed this strangeness in the sky I couldn't help but think of the battle of good and evil.
I studied philosophy in college (which is the reason for my great success in life, I'm sure), and wrote several papers on the concept of good vs. evil. I've read many books and articles written by far smarter people then myself on the subject. It's a fascinating subject because it's a battle being fought all of the time; as nations, as communities, within ourselves even. There is no one that is immune. The concept is easy enough to understand. Simply said, there is no good without evil, no happiness without sadness, no love without hate, etc. etc.
Keeping this in mind, I'm broaching on a touchy subject. Don't worry, it's not politics or religion or anyone's waistline. Rather, I would like to speak on the year 2011.
If the concepts I discussed a paragraph or two ago are correct, then I experienced the year 2011 so that I can put both past and future years in proper prospective. 2011 will be the year to gage my happiness and misery by. Good days will seem great when I remember "Hey, it's not 2011 anymore!" Sad days will seem not so dismal when I think, "Hey, 2011 was so much worse! You can get through this!". One doesn't gain this perspective without experience, of that I'm sure. That doesn't mean I'll volunteer for experiences like I've had in 2011; I think my perceptions are fine as they are now, thank you very much.
For the majority of the year, I have looked to December 31, 2011 as a beacon of light in a very dark tunnel. Somehow, magically or otherwise the transition as the clock turns to midnight will be like a baptism; I'll get to enter a new year as a new person. I'll leave this pathetic year and all of it's lousy sorrow behind, and be welcomed by the new year like a brand new baby into a mother's arms. A cleansed person, I will have a positive outlook every day with nothing but smiles to offer. Sweet mother of mercy what a miracle it will be! Sugar will taste sweeter, the sun will shine brighter, the gods up above will call down to me from their seats in the sky, "Heather, this year is for you!" And what a grand year it will be.
So maybe, just maybe, I'm exaggerating the possibilities of 2012. But here is the beauty of the battle, I now know how bad it can be, so it won't take much for it to be a great year. In an effort the start the cleansing process a day early, I would like to note the highlights of this otherwise dreary year. That way, if anything else, I'll end this mess on a high note. In no particular order, here are the good parts:
1. I landed my job at Northwest Lineman College. This may surprise you as much as it did me, but I have found my calling in the work force at a vocational college that trains electrical linemen. I have never been so happy at a job. The work environment is not only healthy, it's optimistic and supportive. I feel very fortunate to find myself as the official Smiley Happy Face of NLC.
2. I attended my friend Jessica's wedding. I have loved Jessica and her family for a very long time. They have always been good to me. This year, not only did they invite us to the wedding, they engulfed Shay and I in their lovely world. I can't remember a more pleasant stay in Salt Lake (and we have a few memories there, don't we Jess?). The happiness of that weekend was exactly what my broken little heart needed, and I only hope that one day I can help them in the same way.
3. I spent a lot of time with my family. Whether in Banbury, Tamarack, Rupert, or the bowling alley, spending quality time with my family (both immediate and otherwise) has proven to be therapeutic. Sometimes it's just so damn noisy I can't hear myself think, which in it's own way is a blessing. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for loving me and reminding me how lucky I am to have such an amazing bunch of relatives.
4. I learned how to be a good friend. This was a hard lesson with a lot of trial and error. I haven't perfected it by any means. But I try to listen more. I say "I love you " more. I value my friendships and relationships more. And most importantly, I allow them to take care of me more. It's a fact that I lost more friends then I gained this year, but regardless the amount of love I give and receive has somehow increased in significant quantities.
5. Baking my heart out. Sometime in the summer, when I was having a really hard time, I stopped by Bricolage on a whim and asked sweet Julianna if I could bake for one of their First Thursday events. She graciously said yes, and we made arrangements for pie in November. Focusing on that one particular Thursday got me through some rough times. I know it sounds ridiculous, but there is something very calming to me about making pie, and just imagining people enjoy my fruit and cream filled creations was enough to give me some hope. After Bricolage, I moved on to Festivity, not to mention a plethora of orders in between. There are few places I'd rather be then in my kitchen and to all of those who support that part of my life, my most heartfelt gratitude is yours to keep.
Well, that about sums up the good. I'm sure there's more (Lucas learning to ride a bike, heartfelt letters and emails sent to me by strangers, dancing in a basement club in Portland, finding a friend in Boise...tell me again why it took so long Brion?), but at this moment these are the things that stand out the most. It makes me smile to read this list. So I'll cross my fingers and hope the Mayans are wrong and I'll look forward to enjoying the upcoming new year.
Sincerely,
h.
