To My Tribe: A Belated Thank You

Dear Readers,

The term "Urban Tribe" was introduced to me by a friend at a baby shower we were having for our dear friend Caitlyn the other day.  We were discussing how we would all be battling for time with Caitlyn and her baby girl, already dreaming up schedules to be on-call for them.  I mentioned how lucky I am to be part of a group of friends and community that supports each other so much; that I rely heavily on for help with raising Lucas, as well as support for myself and Shay.  That's when Jen introduced the term to me, saying that people of our generation (although normally close and in good relations with their blood family) have learned to create and depend on bonds with their friends that have in the past been reserved for family.  How true that is.  I've said it before, and I'll say it many times again: my closest friends are family to me.  Good news, bad news, or any news at all, they are the first on my call list.

As we inch nearer to Thanksgiving, and we take time to reflect on what we are grateful for, my heart swells and overflows with affection for my tribe.  With that in mind, I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you for the support and love you offered with open arms and hearts during the worst of times.  It's taken me a long time to be able to issue this thanks with any sort of tangibility, but I'm happy to now be in a spot where it's both possible and necessary.  You see, when Loren was first sick, I reached out for your help, and you responded greatly.  My vision was to give Lojo a little inkling of the support and love that was behind him, and I was able to create a book for him that with each page reminded him that he was loved.  I was nervous when I gave him the book, not sure if it was the right thing to do after all.  He looked through it once.  And then again.  Then one more time.  He didn't say anything, just sat shaking his head in a yes fashion looking one page at a time.  This is what he saw:

Aaron

Jesse

Jason

Lucas

PL

Greg R.

Heidi

Matt

Chris

Courtney

Jennifer

Jenny

Michelle

Sarah

Addison

Alex

Beth

Mike

Becky and Catie

Rachel

Shay

Chris (again)

Drew, Lacey, Trace, Rhys

Heidi and Bubba

Sam

These two weirdos.

Erynn

Saratops

Marie

Arran

This Cat

Greg G.

Hott Scott

Davey

Brittany

All of Boise

As you can see, this is a pretty big tribe.  You might be surprised to learn that this doesn't even scratch the surface (I'm missing some of the pictures; I'm sorry if I missed anyone who contributed).  If I had a picture of everyone that offered their love and support, this blog would break records for it's length.  Loren was grateful for and touched by your expressions of love.  So was/am I.

Look around you, look at those who are close to you, family or not.  Identify the bonds that are the strongest.  When you think of strength, who's the first that comes to mind?  When you yearn for company, who do you wish it was with?  Find your tribe.  Add them to your grateful list.  Then call them, text them, whatever way you prefer to reach out, just do it.  Let them know how you feel.  It is so important.  It's so easy.

Hey, you!  Yeah you!  You know who you are, my nearest and dearest.  I love you!  SO MUCH.  Thank you, thank you, thank you, for the rest of my life thank you.  You have made all the difference.

Sincerely,
h.

My Kid

Dear Readers,

I don't do this often.  Brag in excess about my kid, that is.  Don't get me wrong, Lucas is without a doubt one of the finest humans beings to grace this planet.  I know that, his dad knows that, and most people that know him probably know that.  However, I also realize that every parent feels the same way, so the "my kid's the greatest" spiel is worn and redundant and not my sort of thing.

Except for today.  I happen to have gained tangible proof that my kid is indeed, the greatest.

Not even an hour ago I was sitting across the table from Mr. Steidel, Lucas' third grade teacher.  We went through the regular statistics, writing samples, etc.  He expressed enthusiasm for Lucas' drawing abilities, spoke about his better than average reading skills, and spoke to the slight frustration of trying to get Lucas to complete a task in a timely manner (I have dubbed him the captain of Team Molasses, so this complaint is a familiar one to me).  After all the official stuff was out of the way, Mr. Steidel told me about a couple things he noticed that he wanted me to share with me.

The first incident happened just yesterday, at their Halloween party.  The kids had made BINGO sheets earlier in the day, and when their party started and they were preparing to play, one of the girls realized that she had lost her sheet.  Lucas, worried that this girl would not be able to participate, without any sort of prompting, invited her to share his sheet even though it meant he would only get to play every other round.  Mr. Steidel said that the most impressing thing about it was that not only was he willing to sacrifice the chance to win the highly sought after prizes, but he went out of his way to make Anna Belle feel better.

The second apparently happens on a regular basis, this time involving a boy named Andrew.  I've heard of Andrew before; apparently he's pretty hyper and annoys the other kids.  Lucas himself has complained about the young lad, not sure how to handle him. I have some first hand experience with being picked on and made fun of by other kids, and am a bit sensitive to the issue. My advice to Lucas was to be patient with him, and to never-ever be mean or cruel to him.  I explained that there will be annoying people around for the rest of his life, so learning how to be okay with them is an important skill; that tolerance is a virtue.  I don't recall Lucas bringing Andrew up since my big ol' lecture, and had forgotten about it.  Mr. Steidel reminded me of him today though, when he mentioned him as a student that struggles greatly both socially and academically.  According to Mr. Steidel, Lucas (again, unsolicited) will quietly get up when they are working on their assignments and go over to Andrew to see if he needs help, and will then patiently go through whatever problem Andrew is having and will help him work through it.

"You have an exceptional young man for a son," said Mr. Steidel.

I've heard stories from Lucas' previous teachers similar to these.  After each one, I wonder if I could ever be more proud of him.  I learn over and over again that I can.  I am gushing with affection, appreciation, and admiration for the compassion that Lucas exemplifies.  I am proud of his grades, his progress, and his academic prowess.  His golden heart though, that's what makes me weep with gratitude and genuine joy.

I'm the luckiest mom in the world.

Sincerely,
h.