For years I've been stiffing Lucas on attending his school's annual Thanksgiving meal. Usually with good reason (ie meetings, doctor's appointments, napping, etc.), but this year having run out of excuses and unable to handle his giant puppy dog eyes fraught with the disappointment of having the worst mom ever, I sent in my $3.25 along with my RSVP last week. With much excitement and anticipation, the day finally arrived!
The flyer said this would be a fancy affair, so Lucas selected his finest polyester clip on tie for the occasion. I wore a classic black dress, professional high heel shoes, and a jacket reminiscent of my doppelganger, Jackie O. Frankly, it seems to me that everyone else at the lunch missed the memo. There were a few dresses here and there, but most kids looked like they rolled out of bed and were simply rushed to school by hurried parents, can you imagine? Regardless of the poorly attired masses, Lucas and I stood smugly in line, trays in hand.
The lunch offerings for today were, as you can see, the classic Thanksgiving choices:
The menu was somewhat deceiving. For one thing, the "veggie bag" only contained carrots, where I feel that the name alludes to a variety of veggies. Also, there was no fruit that I can see, unless they were counting the weak looking sliced radishes on the "salad" bar as fruit. Before any of you ask, "Harvest Cake" appeared to be a brown colored spongy food item with a thin layer of white on top.
Lucas has very discerning tastes when it comes to his food. I know this, because he always likes what I make and often refers to me as the best cooker he knows. For that reason, I was a bit surprised that he went for the green beans over the veg bag, but I guess we all have our quirks. Here is he, anxiously awaiting his place at the kitchen window to pick up the rest of his grub:
Finally, after waiting for what seemed like minutes, it was our turn to get our meal. "Corn dogs or Turkey?" Asked the polite smiling woman in a hairnet. "Turkey please," said Lucas. "But no gravy please. That is gravy right? Sorry, I wasn't sure." Also opting for the turkey (with gravy), we both received a healthy plop of mashed potato product, a whole wheat roll, the highly anticipated Harvest Cake, and in Lucas' case, a slop of applesauce. Obviously we both selected chocolate milk to drink (does anyone drink white milk on purpose?). Here is my lunch tray, in all it's Thanksgiving glory:
The food aside, what really nailed down the holiday spirit of the occasion were the decorations:
At this point, I would like to just add a side note as a parent, as I feel like this might be a common occurrence. I have carried a hefty pile of guilt over the years for my lack of presence in Lucas' school life. I'm not/never will be the president of the PTA, I absolutely do not volunteer for classroom duties, I have a record of attending zero field trips, and to be honest it's a wonder that I remember to send treats for Lucas' birthday. There are a couple reasons for my lack of interests: other parents, and other children. There aren't many that I'm fond of. And I'm certain there are many that aren't fond of me. I swear a lot. I let Lucas play violent video games. I've already discussed sex and periods and the finer aspects of existentialism with my son. I even let him drink caffeinated soda from time to time. I find that because of these reasons (plus a gazillion others), there are only a handful of parents that I have common ground with. So all of that nonsense aside, me entering Lucas' school is me entering unknown territory. As mentioned earlier though, those puppy dog eyes kill me, so I said yes. Knowing how excited he was to have me join him, I was very much looking forward to the lunch! So I was very surprised at how much he ignored me once I was there. Apparently he wasn't expecting his worlds colliding to be such a weird thing. So rather than talk (thank goodness for his buddy Mason, keeping up the table's conversation for us!), he just shoveled his food in, Harvest Cake first.
A few quick spoonfuls of grub later, and he was ready to go out to recess and forget that this awkward encounter had ever happened. I was still "eating" (is there a word for pushing food items around on a tray?) when he said, "So, uh, you gonna stick around here for a while? Or maybe you should get back to work?" Which I took as a cue that our lunch date had come to an end. We handed our trays to the kitchen helper, who took one look at my messy swirl of uneaten food and said, "What, you on a diet or something?" and that was that. I did manage to get one last shot of my date though, much to his dismay ("No one else's parents are taking pictures!"):
Handsome, isn't he?
All joking aside, Roosevelt is an awesome school, and I love that they put this fancy day together. I am sorry that I chose the turkey over the corndogs though, and so for my own Thanksgiving meal will be preparing those instead. With a healthy plop of potatoes and veggie bag on the side.
Sincerely,
h.
