The Good Life

Dear Readers,

I had a conversation with my aunt Ruth the other day that has stuck in my mind. I had called her to alert her of my sister Kate being in labor, and one way or another the conversation turned into an analysis of how life for my sisters, cousins, and myself is so different then it was for her, my mom, and aunts and uncles.

She said that it seems like we struggle more in finding our lives now, and I couldn't help but agree. Here I am, 30 years old, changing jobs again, moving to another apartment (not buying a house), and still trying to figure out what it is that I will do when I grow up. I have the basics in tact, I know that I want to be a baker, I know I want Shay to be able to make a living as a full time artist, and I know that I want Lucas to get a full ride scholarship to M.I.T. (because there is no way I'll be able to foot the bill for that one...). And that's it, that's where it ends.

My aunt Ruth, however, married an engineer who landed a great and stable job in Boise, bought a house in a subdivision, and was a wonderful full time stay at home mom. My mom and dad struggled a bit at first, but by the time they were around my age my dad was teaching, they owned their home in Rupert, had three kids, and my mom worked at First Security Bank either part or full time the entire time. Once they were in their purchased homes, they didn't leave (well, my aunt moved a few years back, but for all intensive purposes they were grounded until their children were adults).

I'm not positive, but I think the reason why couples and parents my age struggle more than our aunts and parents did is more of a problem with society than it is a problem within ourselves. College costs a fortune, and it's impossible to pay for without loans. Having kids costs a fortune; not only did it take me three years to pay off the hospital for Lucas' birth, but just paying for his school registration, soccer, and swimming lessons costs almost the amount of a semester of college. Getting a steady job, for instance Shay's teaching job, is extremely hard to do, and when you do land it you still don't make enough to keep your wife at home because the cost of living versus your pay is completely out of whack. Even if his pay was more or cost of living was less, I would still have to work full time to qualify for reasonably priced health insurance, because the cost of it through the school system is ENORMOUS. I'm part of a generation that learned how to spend a lot of money in very little time; I don't know one person my age without credit card debt.

With all of that being said, allow me to make something clear: I AM HAPPY. So things didn't go the way that I planned, or that my parents planned. I'm poor, and will probably continue to be poor for a long time. The good news is that I don't know any different at this point, except the glimpse I get to have of people far more prosperous than me (but they're a hell of a lot grouchier than I am). I have fun. I enjoy my friends and family. My life is, as my mom would say, is "rich in blessings". Couple that with my meager retirement savings, and my lofty dreams for the future, and my life looks pretty good.

I move on Saturday, and start my new job on Monday, I have nothing but optimism in my heart that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be in my life. That's not to say I wouldn't like a little more stability like my aunt and mother had, because I would. For now though, I'll play the hand I've been given.

Sincerely,
h.