You're Hired!

Dear Readers,

I've been put in charge of hiring a new employee for our company. Specifically, a new property manager. This is more fun than I thought it would be, as I get to go through all of the resumes and do all of the initial interviews with my own questions. Of course, the things I want to ask have nothing to do with the job itself, but I think they're reasonable none the less. For example:

Have you ever found yourself in a compromising position which caused you to lose your friends and family?

or

Should we walk into your apartment unannounced, what kind of literature would be on your coffee table?

I very badly wanted to put something in the job posting about how I will only interview people who turn in creative resumes, or who comment on my clever use of the word "ambiguity" in the ad. I also wanted to ad that I prefer not to waste my time interviewing idiots or republicans (which I don't always assume to be synonymous, mind you), but my inner voice told me that I might get in trouble for that.

I've never found myself to be envious of Donald Trump, but I would really like to handle this process like he does on national television. I don't know that the networks would pick up a spin off of "The Apprentice" that revolves around a property manager in Boise that makes less than $30,000 a year. It's a better idea than the Jay Leno Show, at least (zing!).

Anyhow, I'll keep you posted on the resumes I receive and how the interviews go. I know while I worked at Starbucks, conducting job interviews gave me some of my best stories. So until then, I remain

Sincere,
h.